Not cool.

I don't care who you are or what your background is, this device is not cool.  Not in an ironic sense.  Not in an Archie McPhee goofy gadget sense.  Not even in any sort of retro-nerd kind of way.  (I speak with authority on that last point.)

Just... don't.  Seriously.

Further evidence that P.T. Barnum David Hannum was right.